


Help?

by the_og_straya



Series: Let's Be Real [9]
Category: No Fandom
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-02
Updated: 2020-07-02
Packaged: 2021-03-05 00:22:44
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 472
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25025365
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/the_og_straya/pseuds/the_og_straya
Summary: Another existential crisis freakout, but what else is new?
Series: Let's Be Real [9]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1323344
Comments: 10





	Help?

I am, for all intents and purposes, female.

I am also very small.

I’m 21 years old, 5’ and 88 pounds.

 _Wow,_ you might be thinking. _You must look great._

Sure. And I know there are girls who would kill to have my body.

But I’m underweight and I know it.

I downloaded an app to try and get my weight back up. All it is is calories, right? If I take in more than I can use, then I gain weight. Simple math. (Side note: this is the only app my dad used to lose 70lbs. It really does work—if you’re not me.)

I downloaded the app 4 days ago. I weighed 92lbs then.

Yes. I lost a pound a day.

I’m not hungry. I eat because I have to, because I want to live, but I’m not hungry. I had some oatmeal this morning; 2 packets of the Quaker Apples & Cinnamon. I can usually eat it no problem.

As I ate the last five or so bites, I had to fight to keep it down. I was full and my body was _not_ having it.

This happened a few years ago. I was at 95lbs in the middle of June. Then in the middle of July, about five weeks later, I lost my appetite (though I kept eating as much as I could) and I lost 10lbs. I was at 85.

I don’t exercise and I hardly get out of bed at this point; I swear I’m not depressed. I’m just in quarantine and have nothing to do. The most I ever do is go swimming, and sure I’m hungry after, but only barely.

I didn’t feel healthy. I have poor circulation (my fingers & toes are always ice) and after I lost the weight, I bruised easier than normal. After playing guitar for half an hour, I’d have an indent on my thigh from the guitar that would last an hour.

I’m saying that like it’s past tense, when I’m sitting here with an indent on my thigh from guitar. But I digress.

I don’t know what to do. I’m scared. I can’t lose ten more pounds; and I can’t keep doing this every couple of years. It needs to end.

I told my mom, the first time it happened, about the lack of appetite. She said to wait a week, and see where we are then.

I didn’t bother checking in after a week. Neither did she.

Finally, of all places, it seemed like Pinterest might have the answer. I saw an illustrated story of a woman who had the same issues as me. It was her thyroid. My mom & her mom have thyroid issues, so I got my thyroid checked.

Spoiler alert: it wasn’t my thyroid.

So if anyone has any ideas or suggestions, please. I’m desperate.

**Author's Note:**

> If anyone’s interested, the app I mentioned is called “Lose It”. It’s an orange app that looks like a scale. It’s really cool and easy to use if you’re interested! There’s a paid version or a free version, but my dad and I use the free version.


End file.
